Good News

Well it's stage 2 cancer. Caught early. That's good because its highly treatable. They don't think it has spread. We will have to wait for tests to tell for sure. He sees the radiation oncologist on Friday. Those prayers may have worked Dave, thanks. I am looking forward to hearing about his visit on Friday and will update.

Cancer Sucks

I had posted here a few weeks ago how I found The Hudson Brothers online and the youngest one has throat cancer. I was following his blog online about his treatment and what he is going through. It was heart wrenching reading about his painful treatments. He was saying he couldn't swallow, he was in so much pain. I felt guilty even eating after reading that post. My heart broke for him.

Yesterday my sister in law called me to tell me my husband's brother has throat cancer. Coincidence? I am not sure. But for the last 3 weeks I have been reading about throat cancer, the optional treatments (some not available in the U.S.) I have read about the best foods to eat when having cancer treatment. I have been basically following this man's treatment every day that he posts. And now here we are with a very close family member with the same horrific, painful disease. The treatments for this disease are really painful and can be disfiguring. (surgery)

I don't know if finding this gentleman a few weeks ago will help my brother in law, but I like to think it happened for a reason.
Please please, if you have a religious bone in your body, say a prayer for my brother in law Ruben. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He would do anything for anyone. If I could, I would take the cancer for him. The next few months are going to be tough on my family. I had given up on religion since 2001. And even after my son's near death, I wasn't sure about it. But I feel like praying is all I can do. I can't do anything except pray and be there for him and his family.

Much too young to die..

My 43 year old cousin died Sunday night from a brain stem stroke. It was his second stroke in the last couple of years. He had the stroke around Thanksgiving time. The doctor said he wasn't taking his meds. He is just a little younger than I am. I still can't believe he is gone. And though it's been years since I have seen him...I still feel the loss of him. I am glad he came to visit me a few years back. I don't have a picture of him..but he is almost a twin to the actor Randy Harrison...

WTF??

Don't these people have jobs or anything else they can be doing with their time and talent?

I give up...

Ok, I gave up and decided to take the meds for the high blood pressure. It was going up to 156/108. My doctor said I can't wait and she called something in. I waited 2 days and then today took my first one just a little while ago. My sister tells me they make her really tired, so I took it in the evening. I took my blood pressure about 30 minutes after taking it and it was 123/80.
Today at work it was 150/97. It seems to spike at work. I can't imagine why?

Rose colored glasses

Well I have decided I need a new outlook on life. I am a worrier. I worry about worrying. It is causing stress.... which is causing my high blood pressure which could end up shortening my life. So, I have decided that worrying isn't going to change anything. I am going to stop worrying about things and just enjoy every day.

If Citigroup folds, no worry, my husband is very smart, bilingual and can find another job.

My boss is moving to Texas next year, no worry, there are other dentists out there who would love to have me run their front desk.

My son has his own car and is out there driving with the maniacs...well...there are some things I still have to have concerns about. But I will try not to lose sleep and stress about it. I lived in a bubble before and I can do it again. For a while anyhow, until reality bites me in the butt.

Under pressure

Ok now I have high blood pressure. My doc says that from the sounds of it, its stress and not necessarily my diet. I eat pretty healthy but need to cut back on red meats (Kate will be happy to hear that) and exercise, (she will be happy to hear that also). I also need to stay stress free. Well that won't be happening. My husband works for Citibank. Need I say more.....
I have to take my blood pressure daily and report back to the doctor in 2 weeks. If it hasn't gotten better, I have to take meds. I don't want to do that but HBP runs in my family and even though I eat right and am not over weight, it could just be bad genes. So I am including Queen/David Bowie's Under Pressure for your viewing and listening pleasure.

Laptop is now dead. Well it turns on but that's it. My husband says he can save everything. I havn't missed it as much as I thought I would. I have watched some television which other than a few shows don't watch anymore. I will keep you posted on the "old girl" and her virus.

Viruses...... human and otherwise

My computer has a virus. It is streaming audio even when I am not logged on to the net. Fun. Now I can't even listen to my Hudson Brother's song I rediscovered after 35 years. I hate this. And I feel like I am coming down with something. I am not sure if I am or not. It could be that I am almost 45, tired from getting up at 5 am every day and just don't feel like doing crap anymore.
I am off for the next few days and look forward to doing nothing. I do wish I could listen to my music but instead I get movie trailers, golf ads, and foreign languages I have never heard of. Nice......If I had hair, I would be pulling it out.

I was listening to my Verizon Fios 70's music station and a song came on I hadn't heard in years. I mean so many years I don't even know the last time I heard it. It was by the Hudson Brothers.



And after googling them and youtubing them, I found out the youngest, and my favorite brother, Brett has cancer. He is making a movie about his treatment and the place called The Klinik in Germany where he is getting treatment unavailable in the United States. Check out his website and read his blog on www.theklinikmovie.com

Elfyourself Vega Version

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Follow up to Uncle Bear

Kate replied back to my last post about the death of my Uncle. She commented that the names of my uncles, aunts and my mom were great. Well there's more.....Here is my reply to her.

Kate, thanks. There are so many weird names in my family. The one named Everette, my mom's brother. His nick name was "Hump". Don't ask....His son, also named "Everette" is called "Teenie". Hazel's son is named "William", but everyone called him "Wimpy". And Hazel's other son, Forrest, yes like Gump...anyway, Forrest was called "Bootsie". And Everette Sr., "Hump" also has a son named "Cary", but we all call him "Dootsie"

The last of the siblings....

My mother was the youngest of 9 brothers and sisters. The last sibling passed away this morning. I don't even know how old he was.

My mother grew up poor. Very poor. Her father who was a Baptist minister, died when she was just 7 years old. They had no running water, dirt floors, no electricity. She had to quit school in 8th grade to go to work to help support herself and her mother.

Her brothers all married and went off to war, all except for one I believe. Her sisters married and had started families of their own. It was just my mother and her mother.

My uncle was named Clement, although they called him "Bear". From what I understand it was becaused he loved bananas. But I always thought monkeys loved bananas. I guess it would have been harder having an "Uncle Monkey" than an Uncle Bear.

He was in the Korean war and my mom told me that left him with a lot of mental scars. He had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and hasn't been the same since. I remember taking my son to see him one halloween for trick or treat. He used to smoke cigars. Des was dressed as Babe Ruth. So my Uncle, with my permission, gave Des a Cigar,still wrapped in plastic to use as a prop for his costume. Des was thrilled (even though he said smoking was "gross").

My uncle used to tell me stories of his childhood. He was one of those "slow talkers". It would take him forever to tell a story that could be told in 2 minutes. But I always listened to him. And though I can't recall any of the stories at this time, I can still remember sitting across from him, and him leaning in and telling us the stories...I can still remember the smell of the cigar.

He was a sweet man who had one of the nicest yards in town. He did all his own yard work for many many years. Up until he could no longer do it under doctors orders.

He will me be missed in my family. We are heading up to New Jersey for my son's injury case next week, and I hope the services coincide with our trip. If not,I will stop in and see my aunt and cousin and give my condolences. He was the last one and at least now I know they are all together....somewhere...sitting and chatting, William, Walter, Everett, Joe, Hazel, Myrtle, Doris, Clement and Peachie.

Today I give thanks for so much

This year I have so much for which to be thankful.

1. My son is alive, graduated high school and is attending a great college and is doing so well.

2. My son is driving (finally), has his own car and so far is acting responsible. :)

3. We are healthy and happy

4. The government bailed out Citibank. I have mixed feelings on this but since Citi feeds us....I am thankful.

5. I have a wonderful, caring, loving husband who takes such great care of us.

6. I have a great job and like what I do.

7. I finally found two very special people I have been searching for for more than 20 years. I hope they allow us into their lives. I am thankful for finding them.

8. I am thankful for my warm comfortable home and all the things that come with it.

9. I am thankful for my family. Even though they live far away, they are in my heart.

10. And last but not least, I am thankful for my life. It's a good life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Update on the driving..

My son passed his test with flying colors. We were both excited about it. The gentleman helping us with paperwork when we approached the desk was a very sweet quiet gentleman who was soft spoken and patient. He asked Desmond if he was registered to vote. We both said yes. I commented that it was very exciting to vote this year and we were happy with the outcome. The gentleman said he was also and was still walking on clouds himself.

He asked Desmond if he wanted the best and Des said "yes of course". So the gentleman finished Des's paperwork and then proceeded to come around the desk to take Des out for his test. :) Sometimes people leave a lasting impression on you and this gentleman did. Desmond was wearing a tee shirt from his Model United Nations Club in High school. It was a dove carrying the letter A from the word WAR to the word PEACE. He asked Desmond about the shirt, so Des explained where it was from and it's meaning. The man said he liked the shirt and wouldn't mind having one for himself. Desmond said during the test, the man never wrote anything down. He asked Desmond if he knew anything about Dogs. Of course having a JRT, we do, so the man asked Desmond if he knew what kind of dog would be best for his special needs grandson. Des said they chatted about life in general and it was a very pleasant experience.
Once the test was over, Desmond said the gentleman told him he passed with flying colors and they came inside.
Desmond said it was a bit surreal. I won't forget this man. He didn't pressure Des, he didn't appear to be an authoritarian, he treated Des with respect and kindness.
(This was Desmond's third driving test, the man could have been a butthead about it).
We are still car shopping and looked at a promising one yesterday that just needed a new paint job. Nothing Maaco could'n't fix. Today we will go again and look at two more. The right car is out there, just waiting for our checkbook.

Planes, trains and automobiles....

Well, its come to that time folks. Time to buy the son a car. He still doesn't have his drivers liscense but I don't want him driving my car. We paid for professional driving lessons and he takes his test next week. He has failed twice. (Hence the professional lessons). So, today I will start my search for a decent car for him. I just don't want him coming home on the weekends and wanting to drive my lovely Hyundai. I just know something will happen to it. If he dings, or scrapes his car, thats on him.

He was a late bloomer with the whole driving thing. Said he wasn't ready at 15 to get his permit. He said driving is "an awesome responsibility" and he didn't think he was ready. Finally at 17 we told him it was time for the permit. He was 18 in July and still no liscense. We are hoping this time he passes. He failed the first time because a pregnant lady crossed the parking lot ahead of him, he was going over a speed bump, slowed down, proceeded over the bump. By the time he got across the bump, she was on the sidewalk. He didn't stop. He failed. Those damn pregnant women! When he told me why he failed, at first I thought he was kidding. Sounded like something he would make up as a joke. But then the look on his face told me he was serious. Poor kid, what a way to spend your 18th birthday, failing your driving test.

So, wish us luck on finding a decent car we can afford, and....wish him luck passing his test. Oh and wish me luck on getting any sleep after he starts driving. I worry constantly about everything and this is just another thing I have to worry about. Him driving, in Florida. We all know how that can be.

So Proud

I am so proud to be an American tonight. So glad I was able to see this in my lifetime and share this with my son!

Vermont in Autumn? NOT!

I wanted to go see the leaves change up north for vacation. I figured we would stay at a nice bed and breakfast and just enjoy the change of season we don't get here in Tampa. My husband comes up with the brilliant idea of going to the Dominican Republic. He works with some people from Santo Domingo and they told him how "beautiful" it was.
They lied.

We arrived at the airport in Santo Domingo and the taxi driver picked us up. Loaded our things into the van, and I use that term "van" loosely, and starts it up. Smokes starts coming out of the dashboard. That should have been a sign to get back on the plane and get the hell out of there.

We told the driver it was no problem and do whatever he needed to do to fix it or get another van. He cut two wires under the hood, started her up again and off we went.

Taxi rides there are an adventure, literally. The drivers there don't follow any rules of the road. Red light? Nah...they don't have to stop. Stop Sign? Nope, that sign means nothing to them. It's whoever has bigger conjones. And the person with the nice car always backs down as they don't want to risk an accident. There is no car insurance there either.

I have never quite seen so much poverty in person in my life. I have seen it on television and in National Geographic magazine but not in person. There were also homeless, malnourished dogs roaming around which broke my heart as an animal lover. They look at animals there as just animals. There is no affection for them. I saw few people with pets. Maybe five people and one was the hotel owner, who was German.

Trash was strewn all over the streets and sidewalks. It was like there was no trash pick up. I knew there had to have been...but I never saw a trash truck the whole time I was there. Never saw anyone picking up trash or cleaning up.

We attempted to go the beach one day. We took a bus ride there. That was an experience. We catch the bus at this bus station in "bad" part of town. I don't know what part of town wasn't bad...but this part of town was worse if it could get any worse. Trash was piled as high as I am tall. (5'1") There were beggars on the street, kids trying to shine my flips flops for money. Don't ask. Women carrying babies wearing nothing but diapers. The women and the babies were dirty. Their skin, and hair were filthy. But...we were looking forward to the beach...so we all piled into the air conditioned bus.

After a 30 minute drive, the bus stops and drops us off on the side of the highway. We had googled a very nice place to visit on the beach. It was a hotel with restaurant. There were beds you could lie on and food and drinks. The pictures were beautiful. Anyway, we get off the bus and start walking....and walking....All of a sudden a large group of people start running down this side street screaming and yelling. My husband who is fluent in Spanish said they were screaming that this lady had a bomb in her purse. The lady was screaming she did not have a bomb and to give her the purse back and to leave her alone. I am clinging to my husband like a two year old clings to it's mom. We have to walk past this group to get the "beach resort" we oh so craved.

After walking past the group and being chased by a few chickens, we made it to the resort. Along the way we saw more trash, more poverty, broken down abandoned cars and homes. It was lovely :)

We enter the resort and was immediately told that we would need to spend $100.00 American dollars on food and drinks before we could use the lounge chairs and beds on the beach. We hate and drank but it didn't hit the magic $100.00 so we walked along the beach for a minute. There was no where to lay a towel and just sit. No chairs to sit on. Just the lounge chairs and beds which cost $100.00.

The beach where the resort property was located was in good condition. But as soon as you walked past the property line, there was trash and broken down buildings on each side. It was like placing a nice hotel in the middle of the slums and pretending there was no slums around it.

We lasted there about an hour and left. Back to the bus stop to wait for another bus. This bus stop was a little better. It was just a gas station. No air-conditioning, though so it was cooler to be outside in the breeze and in the shade.

Once we were back at the other bus station, it was time to call for the taxi to take us back to the hotel. While there, I was approached by a man, trying to speak to me in Spanish and I had no idea what he was saying. I just said I didn't speak Spanish, (in Spanish) and figured he would leave me alone....well that didn't happen. He continued to bother me. My husband approached me ( he was inside calling for the taxi) and told him I was his wife and to leave me alone. He didn't seem to care that I was his wife and continued to try to speak to me. The couple that we were traveling with, the husband, approached also and said something to him in English. But with a tone that he realized, whatever it was, he was pissed. My husband told them him he had 1 second to get out of my face, so he turned around and left. I don't know if our friend's appearance is what made him realized they weren't dealing with just one but two Americans or what, but he left.

When I got back to the hotel, I was hot, tired, hungry and in tears.

The food there was really good and the historic section was beautiful. I only took pictures of mostly the good parts.

We lived in Spain in the 1980's for a few years and my husband had found this nice restaurant on the other side of town that specialized in authentic Spanish food. We took a taxi there and realized this side of town was where we should have stayed.

We enter the restaurant and the host immediately stopped us. We traveled with some good friends and neighbors who happen to be African American. Not that that matters, it doesn't to me, but to the Dominicans it did. They said something to us and my husband took over. He asked for a table and they looked at us like, "you are kidding, right? It was kind of a Joe Biden/Barbara West moment. Like they couldn't believe we wanted a table there. We were dressed very nice and were used to dining at restaurants like that in Tampa, Spain and elsewhere.

My husband then explained that in The Dominican Republic, if your skin is dark, you are most likely Haitian. And that means you are poor, lower class. The lighter your skin, the more respect you received. Everyone in the restaurant had very light skin and you could have dropped them in the middle of Madrid and they would have blended in perfectly. My husband also explained that white women, like myself, were looked upon as something the Dominican men strived for. Their goal to was to snag them a white woman. Not his white woman of course. The waiters and host were very gracious and treated us with respect, but we received looks of death from the other patrons.

After the second night there, my husband confesses that he is very disappointed in the trip and what we had experienced in just 2 days. The rest of us had not said a word to him as he had planned the whole trip and didn't want to hurt his feelings. But once he spoke up and said something, we all agreed....it sucked big donkey dicks.

After many more bad experiences....along the way....we did meet some great people whom I will actually miss. One was a young man who's father is a diplomat in Germany. He looked so much like someone you would see at my son's college, UT. My husband called him, "Mike from Boston" He was really Mikhail from Germanuy. He was here for 16 weeks to do an internship to become a diplomat. He wanted to do it all on is own without his father's help. He shared with us his experiences and perception of the country and we all had some laughs and good times. A new bar opened across the street from the hotel. My husband who talks to anyone and everyone....set up a party with food and drinks for us and the hotel staff for the last night we were there. There was good music, great sangria, compliments of my husband, delicious food and really nice company. It was the most fun I had during the whole trip. I am including some pictures from that night.

My husband and myself in the middle and our friends Brad and Cheryl on the ends.



The whole group of us.



Bar owner (far right), his brother and uncle.




And as a great end to the the trip from hell, my husband comes home, sick with what we thought was the flu...We spend 6 hours in the emergency room last night to find out it was only a virus. We were worried he had picked up something deadly while on vacation.
He will survive.

If anything good came out of this vacation it was that I looked forward to returning to the U.S. To my modest but lovely home. To my 9 year old couch that I won't complain about again. To my life here, which after seeing all that I saw there, is a really wonderful life.

A republican even I would vote for...

One very very smart man!

Just showing some love.....

An attorney friend of mine dropped off an Obama For President sign for me.

Of course, I stuck it out in my front yard. Makes my house look so much.....smarter?

Dave do you mean like this?

Amazing video

My son skateboards and he likes to watch video's of other skateboarders. I found this piece of footage on sidesalad.net. It is the most amazing skating I have ever seen. Hope the salad man doesn't mind me borrwing it. I will return it when I am finished. Thanks :)

I don't yet know how to make the video appear in my blog. If someone wishes to educate me I am open to learning. Enjoy the video and try not to move in your seat. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4b9DAwMA08

Catching some Z's

I am one of many unfortunate people who have trouble sleeping. It usually takes me forever to get to sleep and then once I am asleep, it's not that quality sleep that we need. The sleep where you are dreaming some weird dream. I usually toss and turn and never really get any. It's killing me.
I get bad sinus headaches and the only thing that works is Advil Sinus and Cold. It happens to be the stuff you can't buy over the counter any longer. You have to show your drivers licence, give your name and address etc.....because some wacko in Kentucky or Alaska has decided to turn it into Meth.

Anyway....so it's take the Advil, which makes my mind race with the same thoughts over and over....or....suffer as my head pounds. I don't know which is worse, my mind racing or the head pounding.

I wish I could take something that would make me sleep for about 12 hours straight. I know when I do get a good night's sleep, which is about once every month or so....I feel so much better. I can think straight, I can perform better at my job and I am not tired during the day. I have suffered with these headaches for 10 years now. And the sleep issue is going on about the same amount of time. Its going to cause an early death I just know it. I get up at 5 am every day and get to work about 6:30 til about 4pm. At my job it's none stop multi-tasking. My mind is in 3 or 4 places at once. I do enjoy what I do though.

So here I sit at 2:02 a.m. wanting sleep, needing sleep....but sleep won't come.
Wishing I was.....

Nothing new....

I haven't posted lately. Nothing new to say. Obama is up in the polls, that's good. McCain and Palin still get on my nerves. Looking forward to tomorrow's debate. Should be interesting. I know Joe likes run on and on so I hope he is on his best behavior.

What I miss.......

Colorblind

Yahoo featured a story stating some Democrats will vote for McCain because they don't want to vote for Obama because he is black. I just don't get it.


To me, skin is just a covering. I know it's the body's largest organ, yadda yadda yadda....but it really is just a protective covering. No one has any control over what color skin they were born with. Some white people want to be more tan. I myself wouldn't mind having olive colored skin. I would love to look like the Italian girl that I am. But I wasn't blessed with the olive skin. I was given peachies and cream and am happy with that.


I don't understand how someone can vote for someone who goes against most of the principal beliefs they hold because their skin color is white. Barack Obama has the same basic beliefs and principles I have. That is why I will vote for him in November to be our next president. If this man does not win because there are people out there so bigoted, narrow minded, ignorant as to not vote for someone because their skin is brown, then these people deserve everything that has happened in the last 8 years and every negative thing that WILL happen in the next 4 years.


It breaks my heart, physically makes me ill, knowing there are people like this. I married a man of color. He is Spanish. He is college educated, provides a wonderful home and life for me and our son. He is loving and kind.

My father did not and does not like him because his skin is not white like mine and his own. No matter how hard my husband tried to please my father and be respectful to him, he could not get past the fact that his skin is dark. I have come to the conclusion that it is HIS problem and not ours. He lost out on a great relationship with a great son-in-law.


I was raised believing people of different races don't mix and that people of color are "beneath white people". Once I became an adult and could think for myself, I realized what my parents were teaching me was wrong. I refused to raise my son in that manner. My son has had friends of every race, religion and sexual preference.


I trully hope that these people who are saying they won't vote for Obama because he is black, will see the error of their ways and realize that he is the man this country needs. I wish for one day, November 4th 2008, every American was colorblind.

Driving Miss Tam?

My son who is now 18, was a little late getting his driving permit. He just wasn't interested. He said driving is an "awesome" responsibility and at 15, he wasn't ready.

So we waited until he was 16. My husband took him to get his permit. He has had it for 2 years. He just hasn't driven much. It is mostly my fault...a little of Dad's too. When I get home from work I am tired. I settle in and and hate to go out anywhere during the week.

Just about the time he wanted to start driving more, the price of gas skyrocketed. Go figure.

Well I started making him drive when we went out on weekends and if I had to run errands in the evening. He took his driving test on his birthday in July and failed. He said he was driving in the parking lot of the DMV and as he was "very slowly" going over a speed bump, a pregnant woman was up ahead in the distance. He did not come to a complete stop because he was on the speed bump. By the time the lady crossed the parking lot, he was over the speed bump and she was up on the side walk. They failed him for not stopping for a pregnant woman. When he told me I didn't believe him. It sounds like something he would make up as a joke. But ...he was serious. What a crappy thing to happen on your 18th birthday.

So a couple weeks later he went back and took the driving test again....and again...failed. This time worse than before....

My last resort, other than telling my son to just let the non-driving, starving artist hippie come out......I decided on professional driving lessons.

He starts tomorrow at 2 pm. I will keep you all posted. I can't wait to hear this guys opinion of his driving.

Ahhh sleep

Wish I could get some. At least some quality sleep. My son slept til 3:00 pm yesterday and I had to wake him. Today it was 12:30 pm. I toss and turn and take an hour to get to sleep. Or...I obsess over something in my head and I never really get to sleep or if I do it's an hour before the friggin alarm clock goes off.
Lately its a shot I received Friday that has my arm swollen, red and sore that is preventing a decent nights sleep. And now tonight is Sunday, I never sleep good on Sundays, knowing I have to return to work in the morning.

The Boys back in town again

My son is home from UT for the weekend. Nice to have him around again. I miss that guitar squealing.

OK, Dave wants me to post something. Well lets see....
Last night I came home and wasn't in the house 30 seconds and grabbed a Bacardi wine cooler thingy. I don't usually do that. Must have been a rough day.

Dad was released from the hospital today (supposedly). I have to call and check on him.

We did $4,000 worth of dental work today, pro bono, for a child who's dad serves in the military. Makes me feel good about my job.

I can't wait for the Biden/Palin debate. Joe is going to send Sarah home crying with her tampon string between her legs. ;)
Oh and Dave, I don't think anyone reads this but you and me.

Like Mother, like Daughter?

I didn't know much about Sarah Palin when John McCain announced she was his pick for VP. I started reading about her though and couldn't believe what I was reading. She home schools her children, which I see nothing wrong with that, but how does she find the time? She teaches abstinence only as Birth Control, (which I find ironic considering her announcement today). Claims she will overturn Roe vs Wade if she becomes VP. (which she has stated in an interview she has no idea what that job consists of).
The thing that bothered me the most is that at the age of 44 and while holding a very demanding job as governor, she gets pregnant. She doesn't believe in birth control so I guess it was bound to happen. But this child is a special needs child. He has down syndrome. I work for a pediatric dentist and we see most of the special needs children that the other pediatric dentists in the area won't see.

I can tell you, the job of a parent of a special needs child has to be the hardest job out there. You have to give constant attention, 24/7 to this child. It is not too hard when they are infants, but as they get older, it is extremely difficult as they are not only toddlers, but toddlers with special emotional/physical needs.

I thought Governor Palin was being extremely selfish in accepting this VP nomination. Who would raise her son? Her husband? A nanny? As the VP, she would not have very much time to spend with her child/children.

Then today I learn her 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Well...that happens. I am not holding anything against the daughter, she's a normal teenager with normal feelings....but....if Governor Palin knew her daughter was pregnant, why would she accept McCain's offer of VP, knowing her family would be drug through the mud? Why would she put her daughter through that humiliation? Selfishness? I just don't understand it.

Hard to say goodbye...

I went to visit my father. I tried to prepare myself and thought I did a good job. When I walked into his room at the hospital, the once strong burly man I knew as my father was a frail, weak man. He looked more like my grandfather than my father.
He had a black eye from falling earlier in the week. He had tests and there were no serious injuries. More just bruising than anything.

He did not remember who I was. That was difficult. After being reminded he said he remembered but I wasn't sure. The second day we asked him again and he did remember and even said my name.

He was eating very well and even asked for more food after eating everything...and I mean everything, right down the the last piece of lettuce off his sandwich. We bought him some apple cobbler and ice cream from the cafeteria. Sugar free of course. He's diabetic. We took turns feeding him. I fed him dinner and my sister fed him dessert. He was growing tired and sleepy so we told him goodnight and that we would see him in the morning.

The second day we were there the nurses got him up to walk after breakfast, which he ate on his own. He had on his hospital gown and my sister, niece and I waited out in the hall behind a glass door so that he could take his walk without worrying about us, worrying about him. He used a walker and walked very slowly.
As he passed us, I could see the back of his gown..yes it was closed.....His legs were almost as skinny as mine. I am thin and petite. 5'1" 120 pounds. He has no muscle tone left. My dad was always a big hefty Italian man. He loved to eat and usually had a weight problem because of it. I think maybe the eating could have contributed to his heart problems. I have never seen my father so thin.

We left him with the nurse to take his walk and said our goodbyes until that evening. We received a call that they were releasing him to a nursing home as he can no longer be in assisted living. The hospital transported him to the nursing home and we met them there after they got him settled in. This would be my last time seeing him and it very difficult. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to put him on a plane and bring him back to Tampa with me. I think I would have if he could travel. He cannot so I had to leave my dad there in the care of others. We said our goodbyes. It wasn't like in the movies where you tell the person all things you want them to know. We had to tell him goodbye like we would see him again sometime. I think he knew we probably wouldn't though. I kissed him on the head and told him I loved him. Walking out of that room was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.
I know he is in good hands there...... until he is in the hands of someone else...above.

Dreams from MY Father

My father is in the hospital suffering from congestive heart failure. I am leaving to go see him for a few days. I am afraid if I don't, I won't get that chance.

He will be 78 in October. He worked more overtime at Dupont than anyone in the company's history the year he retired. He was just 52 when he retired. He retired with a house that was paid for, and no debt. The average American can't do that anymore.


He was a frugal man and spent his money wisely. My mother was ill for many years and died in 1996, leaving him alone since then. He never remarried, dated or really did very much with his life.

He did not travel. Never vacationed or even treated himself to dinner. He didn't have any friends he went out with. He basically lived day to day in his house with the dog and the cat.

He did enjoy cooking and would cook anything I requested when I came to visit. His father owned a restaurant/store. He learned to cook at an early age. I wish I had learned all that he knows about cooking, maybe I wouldn't hate it so much. As a child, there were many a Sunday I woke to the smell of his home made spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove. I may not have learned much about cooking from him, but he did teach me to be honest and that if I work hard, I will be rewarded.

Although he retired young and had money to pretty much do whatever he wanted....he didn't really do much. Piddled around in the garden, chopped wood for the woodstove he used to heat his house. (He had a brand new heating system put in, but said he refused to pay all that money for oil and watch it go into George W.'s pocket. LOL


Life for my dad seems to be coming to a slow end, and I want to be able to tell him goodbye. I am dreading this trip but I know I have to go.

The Empty Nest

Well the big day has come and gone. Our only child has gone off the college. My husband got him moved into his dorm and all settled. Dad spent the whole day there sitting through orientation.

Des has some nice room mates and I hope he will enjoy his time there.

He isn't far from home. University of Tampa is about 25 minutes away from us. Its far enough but not too far that I can't jump in the car and be there in a flash if he needs me....which I don't think he will.

I have been preparing myself for this day for a long time. I thought it would be different. I thought I would enjoy the peace and quiet. No more electric guitar squealing from the bedroom. No more music playing in the office. No more getting up in the middle of the night for water....and hearing him writing his music late into the morning....

I miss him. I miss the noise....I miss the music. I think what I miss the most is him coming out to the lanai to tell me some random piece of history or scientific theory of which I have never heard. He is a bright, funny, witty young man. A young man who I have enjoyed raising...enjoyed being his mom.

I do for the first time in my life, feel a sense of accomplishment. I skipped college to get married, move to a foreign country and then meet the man of my dreams.( long story)...Anyhow....I didn't think I was college material back then. It scared me. I decided to marry (again) and have a family. Raising my son was my priority. It is something I have done well and with pride.

It's hard to believe he is all grown up, on his own and not needing his mom. Dad said when he unpacked...they all laughed at the first aid kit I packed, the tylenol and nose spray. The zip lock bags I packed for him. I tried to think of the things he wouldn't think to pack. But I bet when he needs those things...he will be glad I was there to remember it.

And even if he doesn't appreciate it now....he will later in life.....when he sends his own son or daughter off to college.

Well...until the weekend when, he runs out of clean laundry...and catches a ride home with my neighbor and best friend who works around the corner from UT...it will be just me, Dad and Maddie. At least I can still be a mom....even if its just to a JRT.

I'm Hungry

I'm hungry. I hate cooking. I would rather have a root canal than to cook a meal. A nice frozen prepared meal is a my kinda meal. As long as it's healthy. My mother didn't teach me how to cook and I married and at 19 and moved to Spain. I had to learn on my own. I ruined many a meal. My husband doesn't mind cooking too much and what he prepares is rather tasty.

My son leaves for college tomorrow so I won't feel so guilty about not cooking every night. At least he will have a hot meal. University of Tampa has a nice cafeteria.
Some people love to eat. I however find it a chore. I would eat PB&J or cereal every night. A grilled cheese is another of my fav's. It's just food...something to put in my stomach so I don't waste away to nothing.
I am still hungry. The guys are waiting for me to prepare something...I can hear the frosted mini-wheats calling my name......

Fay...one word

Dud! But I am sure there are many people who are relieved including myself.

The Day for Fay

The day has arrived. Fay makes her grand entrance to Florida today. We have surgery today where I work but we cut the day short and should be finished by 1pm. Let's hope everyone gets home safely and Fay doesn't cause too much trouble during her visit. Everyone stay safe.

Waiting for Fay

It was almost 4 years ago that we were getting hurricanes every weekend. Tampa Bay has been lucky and it looks like we might sqeak by again.
I work for a dentist so we may have to close our office if it gets too bad, but I doubt that will happen.
We didn't put up the storm shudders nor did we get gas for the generator. If we lose power, I told my husband I will be a very unhappy camper. He insists we won't lose power. We better not.
So here we are, waiting for Fay. I hope she comes and goes quickly, and stays away from New Tampa.